HEADLINE: Deadpool becomes journalist!

Well after long negotiations, I am proud to announce that I am now working for the gossip section of the Daily Bugle. I'm calling my column, "Stripping Heroes and Freaks." My first column will focus on the subject of cowardly heroes such as Spiderman, which I theroize is Private Hudson, because they are both cowards. Yes, I know you are all thinking, "but Deadpool you've seen Spiderman without a mask and his hawt aunt." Well I don't tell what some would consider convetionally true. I tell what is needed to be tell, to protect children and sexy ladies.
Alright.

Next blog report should be about my next episode(though I don't know when I shall post next, sometime this week likely). In this episode a character dies(hint: its his first appearance too!)

So far my experience with J. Jonah Jameson has been a delight, he's like the weird uncle I never had. He always tells me, "Wilson you freak put some pants on, you have a story to write, and I don't care were you get it as long as I don't see you again. And stay And have you seen that Jessica Jones, sure I hear she gets around and getting married to that Luke Cage loser, and she may not have as many wrinkles as I usually like, but damn baby got back! I have a young strapping lad as my photographer, but he's an ex con. I think I may give him a job as my assistant.

So Long,

Mr. Wade Wilson Senior I Esquire.

Private Hudson, a coward?

So I am finally doing that traitor Private Hudson's dumb pooh pooh tag. Hehe pooh.

Favorite Chocolate (Dark, White, Milk): The only chocolate the ladies like is me, so I'll go with me.
Favorite Pizza Toppings: Bea Arthur
Favorite Food Question (It's obligatory that every quiz ask this): What would you eat first, your hand or cottage cheese?(so I played with the wording, fools)
Favorite Cheese Type: Cheese is for pinko commies
Favorite "Pirate" Word or Phrase: Argh, when I was a little boy
Favorite Music Genre: Does Michael Bolton count as a genre?
Favorite Music Artist: I listen to my self sing 24/8
What are you listening to now?: Rickey Martin
Favorite Movie Genre: Musicals
Favorite Movie: You Got Served 5: The Dance against Canada
Favorite TV show: Golden Girls...wait no...Maude
Favorite Console Game: Deadpool and the the fight for Kangroo Jack
Favorite Computer Game: see above
Favorite Board Game: Strip poker?
Ever play Dungeons and Dragons?: No, dices should have no more or less than six sides
Can I have a Mountain Dew?: Seria Mist is better loser
Believe in some sort of higher power?: Yes, that is me your refering to.
How many of these quizzes have you ever taken, email or blogs, in your net-surfing career?: That Hudson didn't even use proper grammers when he answered this question here, so I refused.
On a scale of banana to zebra, banana being "pink polka-dotted slippers" and zebra being "WTF?", how surreal would a guy taking a shower in a tub full of brightly coloured wrenches and monochromatic cat toys be?: The only correct answer to that question is Jerry Springer, if you don't say that you are a whore.
Have any pets?:Do humans count?
If yes on 20, what is the silliest thing you have seen them do?: Umm...I can't answer that without having the feds come to my house.
You think Karnov should have ended this quiz 20 questions ago?: Who is Karnov, he sounds like a commie
Ever Play 20 Questions?: No, I played the name place animal thing game. It was fun.
Think I get bored on my lunch breaks?: No sir.
Who would win in a fight between Mr. T, Chuck Norris, and that giant robot from that one goofy Beastie Boys Video?: The whales
Could you conceivably use a Terrabyte Harddisk?: I don't even know what that is and refuse to dignify that with an answer.
HAH! HAH! I ACTUALLY HAVE A 28th QUESTION!!1! (Unfortunately it is more of a statement): Hudson said he had a gun, the ladies love my guns. SNap!
Paper or Plastic?: Plastic. Don't want to have any kids out of wedlock...Wait you mean groceries, I prefer my manservant Rocko to carry my products.
(Pick 1-5)?: Professor X, Taskmaster, and lets say, umm...Vampi, wait no she's out, Vegeta!

HONEY I'M HOME

Sorry for the delay I've been battling the flu, and that dirty scoundrel fights dirty. This post isn't about my show, maybe next post if your all lucky, I mean really be glad I don't have this thing written by a ghost(NOTE to self: look into to see if ghots can type). First off Kudos goes to Gaia, you shall have this in return:
Which reminds me at some point I'll have to make those egg peoples. Hudson's on the list because he's a coward who wants to cut and run. Well if he wants the bears to win than so be it. Oh yeah and I left out the c, cause I its the American way.
Speaking of ghost writers, the dude who types this for me will probably update his blog today or later. As many of you know the tiltes of my posts have deep meaning with symbolism and all that crap in 'em. Today's symbolizes me standing out in front of my beloved Bea's house for the last few days. But something mysterious happened I saw a baby driving a car outside of it. Don't know what i means, but I'll find out. The French probably have something to do with it. Anyway I'm off.

Your Love,
Deadpool XoXoX

EDIT: The typist foregot his username and password. will let you know when the issue is resolved and he updates his blog.

Episode 3: The Lioness, The Whore, and Wardrobe

Okay so here's the summary of episode three which was written by my good friend the ghost of John Steinbeck. We wanted to change Whore to something a little more vulgar, but you know how the FCC works. Check my entry on January 29th in case you foregot what happened last episode.

The episode begins where we last left off as Kobe Bryant bullets race towards me. I quickly use Carrot Top as a human sheild. He dies and my arms and I throw him at Kobes car, but the Black Mamba magically vanishes.

The next scene goes to Professor X's character Cheif Crumbs blackmailing his briber Bob Saget. Crumbs says that he'll arrest him if he doesn't raise the bribes another grand. So Bob Saget puts a gun to his forehead and brings out his secret weapon, Gary Coleman and Emanuel Davis to threaten. After putting Crumbs in a state of shock and crying like a girl in the corner he agrees to help them with their mysterious plan.

Back to me heading back to my apartment where Paul (Northstar) informs me of how difficult my daughter is being(played by Gaia). My precious little Mango greets me by saying she needs femine products, so I tell her to go with her Aunt Paul and get it. Damn I'm a man's man, I don't go get female products. The episode ends with Paul and Mango going to the store to pick up her stuffs. There she encounters Cheif Crumbs who eyes her oddly. In between these scenes it cuts back to me finding a note warning me Mango is in grave danger. But before I can act I'm taken out by a new player, SUPER BOY PRIME!

Guess Who's Back, Back Again...

Okay quick post, I'll try to update the blog at least once a week, but no promises. You'll atleast get some episode summaries from my show. Sorry for not being around everyone, but you know how busy the Holly Wood life can be. Also I hear wedding bells? And on episode three of Deadpool someone dies! Stay tunned folks.

-Cordialy,
Martha Wilson(aka Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, aka the merc with a mouth)