I kicked that whore J'onn out of my apartment. I don't need no stikin' martian traitor. He's a traitor. Anyway over the past couple days I noticed I was being followed. I thought it might be Bob or Daniel Way trying to study to me.
So last night I'm coming home from the first annual Betty White convention (it was okay, not as good as Bea's). So my key gets stuck, when suddenly someone jumps on my back and starts attacking me.
"Perpare to die Deadpool!"
It was Snap! From Kelloggs Rice Kripies! (Am I miss an apostrope)
So I was all like no you didn't bitch! You aint stealing my trix you *!@#$%#%^$#%!
So I stabbed him and traded him to Mister Sinister for something called a "Cy-Kill." I have no idea what that is, but I'm excited!