Deadpool's Journal

The blog of everyone's favortie Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool!BOOM SHAKA BOOM!

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Day 1

After much dealy due to censorship (apparently its against network standards to show Bill Clinton in the buff(what network?)). Anyway now back to the first challenge of the Fantastic Mutant Competition! Which is pro-mutie, unlike that anti-homo superior Xavier. Hehe homo....

Dr. Doom: Come Clinton, we must humilate Richards.

Bill Clinton: Hey Doomy buddy, how about we skip this and go to a Hooters!

Dr. Doom: It is more important to defeat Richards!

Clinton: Okay, don't get your panties in a bunch. Here why don't I put this Hilary '08 pin on your shall there.

Doom: Doom does not wear shalls, it is a cape! And Doom is supporting Obhama in '08.

Clinton: Obhama? Why you tra...Wait if you support Obhama then Hilary will win and I can chase after all the girls I want!

Doom: DOOM DOESN'T CARE!

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Elsewhere we catch up with what Batman and H.E.R.B.I.E. are up to.

Batman: These chimichanga wrappers were clearly left by Deadpool, if we follow them we should be able to figure out what our first task is.

H.E.R.B.I.E.: I love you.

Batman: I'm the Goddamn Batman. *throws batarang into H.E.R.B.I.E.

H.E.R.B.I.E.: :(

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Until H.E.R.B.I.E.'s fixed here's coverage of Black Panther and Jessica Alba.

Black Panther: So you wanna ditch this and get drink?

Jessica Alba: Aren't you married?

Black Panther: Um....no.

Jessica Alba: Okay!
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Can everyone say DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVORRCE? But who can blame the fella, plus as shown in my earlier posts Storms a cheating slut! Let's see what Charlotte and She-Hulk are up to.

She-Hulk: Charlotte , I think I found the card with the next task. Defeat a Cylon and then trade its head for a taco. What the hell that's possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Don't you think so Charlotte? Charlotte?

*lifts foot up and looks at shoe*

She-Hulk: Omigosh!
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Next time we check in with the other four teams! KABOOM!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Fantastic Mutant Competition Day 1

Earlier this morning we held the first meeting Here's the transcript:
DeadpoolToday is the day one of the greatest challenge in the Multiverse-The Fantastic Mutant Competition!

Now I know it isn't easy being a mutant, like it isn't being green. As I have personal experience of being both.

Mr.Fantastic: Wilson, you realize none of us are mu-

Deadpool: Dr. Richards have you met Jessica Alba yet? She had to replace Wesely after he dropped out.

Mr. Fantastic: Why no, I didn't. Its a pleasure Ms. Alba *kissing Alba's hand.*

Invisible Woman: REED!

Mr. Fantastic: (whispering) You'll have to excuse the wife Ms. Alba, its her time of month.

*Mr.Fantastic KOed by wife*

Deadpool: Okay moving on...your first challenge...

Galactus: I'M HUNGRY!!!!!! AND I CAN'T HEAR YOU. SPEAK UP!
Deadpool: Please Galactus use your indoor voice.

Galactus: I'M USING MY INDOOR VOICE. MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME TO USE MANNERS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Eduardo: Senior Galactus, if you are hungry I have mucho potatoes.

Deadpool: EVERYONE SHUT UP! So I can tell you your first task. Anyway, as you all can tell you've been taken to somewhere you don't know. Figure it out and find me for your next task, and all those taks cards or whatever. Go!

Dr.Doom: Doom won't stand for this. Doom is above this.

*Mr. Fantastic gets up and starts running*

Deadpool:Dr. Richards is winning...

Dr. Doom: DOOM SHALL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN! COME BILL!

Stapler's Ghost: Wait I have a question, everyone else has someone releated to the Fantastic Four. How come I got stuck with Ghost Rider?

Ghost Rider: Shouldn't I be asking why I got stuck with you? I have a freakin movie. You're the Martian Manhunter's archnemesis who's only been in a blog!

Deadpool: Hey! I'm the only one allowed to break the fourth wall. And you're with Ghost Rider there because he was with the Fantastic Four, along with Wolverine and some other 90s rejects.