Ask Deadpool 5

New installment of Deadpool's answers. First from Kid Flash:

I have a question Wade, it seems since my return to the Titans I've been replaced. Kon's gone and reconciled with Timmy and befriended Hot Stuff (at the same time what kind of name is that???). Tim, well he's only ever been friends with Kon, and Cassandra- but he went and made out with her.I wouldn't want to make out with Tim, considering his history with Bats and Nightwing.So how do I get my teammates to actually see me as a friend other than a hyper-active seventeen year old in spandex??????

What the hell you're supposed to be Flash now. Go into the future and join the Legion, they have a ton of major babeage.

Two Q's from Senior Xavier

First of all, since my chair has a hover mode, going over some stairs is not going to be all that entertaining.Second, I only date really, really hot women. I am a super-hero after all.That and I can dominate anyone's mind. I wonder what Jessica Alba is doing right now?

You're not a superhero. Nightcrawler's a superhero/priest. You're a teacher. You claiming you're a superhero is like claiming Jeff Van Gundy is a basketball player. He's a good coach, like you.

So does Wolverine's DNA make you gassy? Logan's is constantly letting them rip around the school

No, I make my own gasses :D

Is it true Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles is really about LSD?
-Bill Parcells

No, it's about Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Did Brady Quinn fall to far?
-Batman

No, He's like the Iceman of football. He's serviceable but there's better stuff out there. Also what happened with the Fantasitc Mutant Compeition, I don't recall?

When does your rumored movie coming out?
-Jesus

Its unfortuanetly in a legal snafu. Like Miracleman, but 1000000000x greater.

According to Henchy AIM offers dental and a union, but according to Bob he joined Hydra because AIM doesn't offer dental or allow unions. Who's telling the truth here?
-Bender R.

Well Bender my man, I'm afraid Bob's right. AIM's dental program is a fraud that they only give to a few select members. They make the rest the ones who are given it that they all get dental. But in reality those policies don't cover squat. They're all to busy to see the dentist, nad only 2% of AIM members according to U.S.A. Today gallup poll have kids and/or a wife. Plus they never have to pay. The ones that get their teeth knocked out(the only part of the dental plan is to cover false and replacement teeth) are always arrested.

And knowing is 2/3 the battle.