I KEEP IT REAL

So my date with Wonder Woman awhile ago didn't go well. She was grossed out that I decided to describe how I killed Jim Morrison's zombies. She said it was inapporpriate dinner conversation. I didn't even know what that meant so I left. People don't understand and lots don't like my blog cause I don't sugarcoat nothin dawgs. I keep it real, ya heard? Any way I've been offered a job as part of the cast of TSG with Tracy Jordan. I'll still be answering letters though. WATCH MY SHOW FOO's. I KEEP IT REAL!

Ask Deadpool #4

Tonight I have my date with Wonder Woman woohooooooooo!!!!!!!! But first I'll answer your questions. I'll delay the hot and cold blog discussion for the next post since we have so many letters:

You didn't answer my question, but here's another:
What attracted you most to Cable? Was it his golden eye?
Also why can't you support your own title, is it because you suck as a lead character?
-Mike Warner

1. I'm straight okay. Just because I had a dream about Cable once doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. But he does have a rugged chin.
2. Again this coming from a secondary character of a webcomic. Yeah and remind me why I should listen to you ever?

Also for the advice Coulumn My daughter is about to marry an Idiot who's the son of an idiot What would you do ? This should be good for a laugh at least .
The Prince

Neuter the son-in law. Then his stupidness can't infect your bloodline. That way she's bound to cheat so she can have a kid. I can give you George Clooney or Cable's numbers that way. I hear the ladies are attracted to older guys.

If you don't like that plan I suggest taking him on a camping trip to the moon and leave him with the inhumans. They'll kill for tresspassing likely.

Dear Deadpool,
My girlfriend's ex keeps hanging around,if I beat the little bald headed, half man/half car mutant freak into the ground. She might not like that. What to do?

Henchman 432

Assuming you're talking about Professor Xavier there are several ways to get him to stop. One push him down a flight of stairs. That probably won't stop him, but its funny. Two, you can easily blackmail him. That's how I became good friends with him. Its not hard to dig up dirt on him. And usually its something that will cause 90% of the X-men to shun him.

Another thing you could do is introduce him to someone else who's less hot than your girlfriend. Perhaps Martha Stewart, or hook him up with one of his exes like Lilandra(although she's kind of a vegtable now from what I hear) or Barbra Walters.

Finally we have a letter from everyone's favorite jerk that's a drunk Iron Man:


Ok Deadpool Here's a question. How do I deal with this annoying Merc at work?

I really shouldn't have to answer this. We all know your solution to everything is get drunk.

Laters True Skeptics!