THE FINALE OF THE 1,000,000 Dangerous Bald Cripples

The Xavier who could walk jumped me from behind. I kicked him in the nads but he wasn't heart.

"I'm a lady!"

Man if that's true that was one ugly lady. I fought them all to the death until there was one left. Smurf Xavier.

"My smurf-men will be here soon. They'll smurf you with their smurf powers. SMURF SMURF SMURF!"

I charged at him screaming, " THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR PUTTING GARGNETO THROUGH ALL THAT MISEARY!"

He was able to start controlling my mind. Apparently this hadn't occured to the other Xaviers I had killed. He was making me strip. He claimed it was to get my weapons off me, but personally I think he's perv. Unfortuanetly for him I was close enough to gulp him down. You see I had wondered why Gargamel always wanted to eat a smurf. They actually taste like hair. Dog hair to be exact. I was very disappointed. I was expecting it to taste like sherbert ice cream.

With the alternate Xaviers gone I confronted Bruce Timm their creator (also creator the animated DC Universe). "TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! Why did you bring the other Xaviers to this universe?"

"What the hell are you talking about you psycho? You're crazy. I'm going away now."

And that's how I saved Prince Harry.

THE END

NEXT TIME: Deadpool starts a new feature by answering letters of his readers and offers helpful advice. As well as his opinion on topics ranging from how to break up with your girlfriend and smokers.