Deadpool's Journal

The blog of everyone's favortie Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool!BOOM SHAKA BOOM!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

FINALLY THERE

After hitchhiking and some how ending up in Luxemburg I finally made my way to Neptune, California. I needed to know who wanted to capture me, who would want to hurt me both emotionally and other ways?

I went to the best detective I had never heard of...Keith Mars! I walked into his office to find a hot blond babe sitting at the front desk.

"Well hello there, you wouldn't happen to be Keith Mars?" I asked

"No", she replied. "I'm Veronica, his daughter."

"Well, maybe after your daddy solves my case we can get our freak on, if you catch my drift."

Suddenly I was slammed into the ground by a balding man.

"Hey I know you, you're the dude from Just Shoot Me. Not David Spade, the other guy."

"What the hell are talking about you nut, I'm Keith Mars and you're going to get out of my office and you're going to stay away from my daughter. Because if I ever see you near her again I will personally make sure you can never stand up and pee again."

"Dad wait! I think he wants to hire you," said Veronica.

"Yes I know that honey, I got word that he wanted to hire me about a month ago. If the red pajammas didn't tell you, this guy is a psycopath. Something we could use a little less of in our life. I've made sure he hasn't been able to get to Neptune this long, because I don't want to be anywhere near him."

And just like that I was thrown out of the office. I then went into some random hotel and smoked someone else's cancer sticks (y'know since I have healing powers and stuff).

"Don't move."

I turned around to see who it was. Just some loser punk kid. Looked kind of familar.

"I said don't move, you see I have this thing called a gun and if you move I'm going to shoot you."

"Meh (I said while shrugging) go for it."

He shot me, he shot my head. What a jerk!

"OUCH! JERKWAD WHY DIDYA HAVE TO DO THAT?"

"How the hell are you alive? I just shot you in the head."

"Wait I recoginize you. Your Logan Echollis, the kid of that movie star."

"Yes unfortunaetly that's me."

"Sweet, wanna go pick up some chicks?"

"First off no, you lunatic, I want you out of my room. And second I have a girlfriend."

Suddenly the hot blonde chick walked into the room.

"Logan, what's going on here? What's he doing here?"

"You know him Veronica?"

"He's a mercenary, he wanted to hire my dad. His name is Wade Wilson."

"Actually I prefer to be called Deadpool, because I'm proud of my mutant heritage."

"Shut Up." The two said.

So we finally came to an agreement. I'd leave Neptune in exchange Veronica would help me find out who wanted to kill me. ROAD TRIP! With a hot blonde! This is a dream come true(well almost if only Bea..sigh)
She asked me,"Do you have any enemies?"

"The KKK, KFC, Lamb Chops, Kang, Ricky Bobby, The Hoff, the Black Swan, that wuss J'onn who complains about me not posting, K-Fed, Alien Jewish Elvis, Agent X, The Govenator, MADD, Jose Canseco, Piglett, Lex Luthor, DC Comics, Wolverines, The UN, Voldemort, Bruce Timm, Alex Ross, The B.A.D. Girls..."

"Okay that's enough for now. Why don't we start at the begining. Why does the KKK hate you? "

To be continued...

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