Deadpool's Journal

The blog of everyone's favortie Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool!BOOM SHAKA BOOM!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Ask Deadpool #2

Out letter today comes from a hot amazon with some problems with deadbeat men(Note I took the liberty to edit to fit our space and other reasons):

Dear Handsome Deadpool,

Ever since I murdered Max Lord to save Superman none of my teammates trust me. Batman refuses to acknowledge me as trustworthy and spends more and more time alone with his butler, worst of all Superman has even debunked me of being a superhero. To make things worse it turns out Max had planned the entire thing, for me to murder him and record it then broadcast it world wide. So now not only does the entire superhero community now see me as nothing but scum, but so does the public. The point of this is what do you think I should do?On a second note both Iron Man and Captain America have been showing farrrr to much interest in me. What do I do about them?
Love,
Wonder Woman.

First of all didin't you read Crisis? According to that he didn't plan on getting killed it was Carrot Top or something. And having worked with Carrot Top on my TV show he's really annoying and likely to do that to a hot babe, because frankly he's an asshole. Screw Superman his movie sucked. Screw Batman he hangs out with little kids in a cave. Screw Iron Man and Cap, they're both losers who can barely support their own comic book or blog. Plus Plus who do you think inspired Bats to get Robin? It was Cap with Bucky. Cap is also an outlaw and a commie terrorist who is trying to undermine the President. And Iron Man's a drunk, he constantly throws up inside his armor. That's why I refuse to team up with him.

This is what you do. You go out with me, that'll help your PR. In exchange for several dinners with me (at least 29) I kill Batman and Superman. Now you're the leader of the Justice League. Than I blackmail Cap and Stark. Next we hire my lawyer She-Hulk, who's great. She'll get you out of this mess. She'll either claim its self defense or a doctored video. If we manage to convince people its doctored I claim I actually killed Lord because he wouldn't register and was posing a threat to umm...Davenport, Iowa. Yeah that's good. Than we get hitched and live happily ever after then end.

9 Comments:

  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger Cable said…

    Wow Wade, hitting on Ambassadors who for some odd reason are seeking the advice of a Bea Arthur-worshipping-crazy-mercenary who had his own tv show and doesn't know the meaning of what a hero is.

     
  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger Ignignokt & Err said…

    Well done earthman.

    Nice pickup you fruit.

    That was weak Err. Really you couldn't come up with something better?

    I'm tired man, and I got the munchies.

    Too 7-11, quickly Err!

     
  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger Mike Warner said…

    I have better advice for you Wonderwoman, shot deadpool, than you'll be a hero in my book. He's a loser.

    And what the hell is with the stars on your underwear? You should rename yourself Betty Ross's corpse since that's what you look like.

     
  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger WonderWoman said…

    hbIgnoring the criticism I've recieved for seeking help from somebody who at least had the decency to offer it, I'd like to say thank you for your advice. I don't quite think Batman and Super deserve to die, be beaten round the head, yes. Die, no.
    You don't need to take the blame for what I did.
    But for being so gracious as to reply instantly to my plea I will take you up on your offer for dinner.
    How does friday sound?
    PS. Mike the stars represent the each blessing I recieved from the deities of Greece.
    Wonder Woman.

     
  • At 3:20 PM, Blogger Superman said…

    Who Krypton's name could beat me around the head?

     
  • At 3:22 PM, Blogger Vegeta said…

    Are you Asking for Volunteers Kal-El? Because I'll Beat you like I did last time. Perhaps I'll finish the job, and klill you? Nah. I'll just cripple you.

     
  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Professor Xavier said…

    Wade, there is a problem that I find rather distressing. It's all these people going on and on about global warming. It's making me feel very anxious. I wish people would stop talking about it. Can you help?

    - Charles X.

     
  • At 9:59 PM, Blogger Mike Warner said…

    Okay I'll play. Why do you suck?

     
  • At 10:23 PM, Blogger Deadpool said…

    Friday's great! We can go bowling and to Applebee's.

     

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