Ask Deadpool #1
Welcome to my new letter column where I answer the reader's problems! To send in letters asking for my advice we'll have a service set up soon and so you can get it in under an alias. I know how much those anti-registration pinko terrorist "I'm with cap" heroes like to keep their identity secret. Anyway on to my first letter:
Dear Deadpool,
I have a crush on one of my teammates, but I do not think he notices my subtle hints at all. He seems more interested in a dead red-head then me/ He even doesn't notice that the person who I'm currently dating I can't have sex with and is only a farse. He also doesn't take notice of the fake French accent I put on. You see when I first met him I had some French imported cologne on and he mistook me for from being from Lousiana so I had to act like that. I really don't know how to get him to notice me.
Kisses,
Yearin' for Wolvie.
Well your first problem is that I can easily guess who you are. You're an idiot. Also just come out of the closet everyone knows you've been hankerin for Logan since you became a horseman of War just to say you had something in common with him other than being the same gender. And yes for those of you who hadn't guessed the writer is Gambit. He's a tosser. Join us next time . And any of you wishing to send your letters by snail mail adress them to Karl Rove 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington D.C.,U.S.A. He's my personal letterer screener.
Dear Deadpool,
I have a crush on one of my teammates, but I do not think he notices my subtle hints at all. He seems more interested in a dead red-head then me/ He even doesn't notice that the person who I'm currently dating I can't have sex with and is only a farse. He also doesn't take notice of the fake French accent I put on. You see when I first met him I had some French imported cologne on and he mistook me for from being from Lousiana so I had to act like that. I really don't know how to get him to notice me.
Kisses,
Yearin' for Wolvie.
Well your first problem is that I can easily guess who you are. You're an idiot. Also just come out of the closet everyone knows you've been hankerin for Logan since you became a horseman of War just to say you had something in common with him other than being the same gender. And yes for those of you who hadn't guessed the writer is Gambit. He's a tosser. Join us next time . And any of you wishing to send your letters by snail mail adress them to Karl Rove 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington D.C.,U.S.A. He's my personal letterer screener.
posted by Deadpool @ 10:33:00 PM
4 Comments:
At 2:21 AM,
Wolverine said…
What the flamin?
At 6:01 AM,
J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said…
Wow, two posts in two days.
Anyways, fun post. I don't really have anything to ask you though.
At 10:11 AM,
- said…
Dear Deadpool,
ever since I murdered Max Lord to save Superman none of my team mates trust me. Batman refuses to acknowledge me as trustworthy and spends more and more time alone with his Butler, worst of all Superman has even debunked me of being a superhero. To make things worse it turns out Max had planned the entire thing, for me to murder him and record it then broadcast it world wide. So now not only does the entire superhero community now see me as nothing but scum, but so does the public. THe point of this is what do you think I should do?
On a second note both Iron Man and Captain America have been showing farrrr to much interest in me. What do I do about them?
From Wonder Woman.
At 5:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Deadpool,
When should you release your vid game.
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